16 and Pregnant, do we blame the show or society?

The other day on facebook, one of my friends had wrote a status about a young girl saying she was 16 and pregnant and how she is very happy and that it is normal to have a baby at her young age. Then he went on to add his two cent to the situation and made a statement that stuck out to me. He stated that he blames the MTV reality show "16 and Pregnant". His reasons were that the show glorifies teen pregnancy, it makes teens excited to become a parent in hopes of being a cast member on the show. To a certain degree and only a degree is where I agree with the above statement. I do think that it makes a teenage girl think that if she becomes pregnant at 16, she will automatically be apart of the show and get her 5 seconds of T.V. fame, but to just BLAME everything on this reality show, I'm sorry but I just can't and will not agree with it.


I am so tired of people blaming a T.V. show for something that has been going on for years and will continue to go on even after the show. Sad to say but it is the truth and the world that we live in today. I feel like the show gets toooooo much credit for something that has been going on for years and years. Way back when before my mama was even born. I wasn't really trying to compare the two because young woman back in those times was forced into marriage by their fathers and had children in wedlock at the age of 13. Even in the upcoming generations, it was happening but it was considered to be a folkway, meaning that society accepts it but thinks it's morally unacceptable. That's just how it was, people never spoke openly about it, girls wasn't even allowed to stay in a regular school.. In those days!! But my point was just because a show is based on a topic DOES NOT mean that it just magically started. It just wasn't any light shed on it, until now. We're in the expose everything, leave nothing to the imagination period. Look at all these reality shows going into a person's home and digging into their personal lives. Nobody believes in what is my business stays my business. Those morals is out the door completely. 


At the end of the day, It all depends on that teen and how they are raised. Some of those pregnant teens came from a parent that had them as a teen, so that's the example that was set. There are also situations where a parent has been an active part of their childrens lives and taught them and raised them to the best that they could, but peer pressure is a mother, you know the rest!! Peers is the number one influence on a growing teens life. We can prepare them, we can threaten them, do anything in our power to prevent certain things but the bottom line is that we can't stop everything. Especially now, because I seen so many little girls being fresh, dressing and looking older, developing beyond their age and acting grown. Then you have these little boys telling them what they want to hear, making the girl feel if she has sex she will be popular and important. The girl gives in and BAM, they engage in sexual intercourse and some don't know anything about protecting themselves or they do but naive to the thought of anything bad happening to them. There are many consequences, not only pregnancy but STI's. 

There has been some very positive things about the "16 and Pregnant" reality show. It shows the hardships that each teen faces and scares some of the teen viewers. I even heard a young lady state that this show has became her form of birth control and she will not have sex until she was old enough to not only have sex but to be able to handle anything that might happen when it's over. So in this case, we should thank the show for this reason alone. Some young women don't have parents that talks to them about sex and teen pregnancy so, watching this show is kind of like an eye opener to them and it shows them that having a child is not only about dressing them up and making them cute. What you going to do when they cry all day and night, when they are sick, when it's time for you to go to school, pampers is not cheap, how are you going to afford it with no job etc. It gives young teens a lot to think about. As i'm writing this blog, I think this show has it's pros and cons, no doubt it all depends how the information is translated to a person. 

The message I got from watching Pinky and the Brain cartoons

One thing I have to say about the Brain is that he NEVER gave up on trying to take over the world. No matter how many times he failed, the very next episode he forgot about his past mishaps and tried a new way of accomplishing the goal. I must say, the Brain was a very optimistic little dude and I respect him for that. That is the same thing I want people to live by. Not necessarily saying that I want people to fail at every attempt they make to do great things, but just NEVER giving up and knowing that one day soon, all that hard work will pay off. I don't think my generation really knows about hard work, they just want the outcome of it. You have to lay down a foundation in order to build a house, you can't just build a house on uneven land because it will eventually fall over.

Pinky was that friend, you know that one friend that kept a person from reaching their goals. He was the friend that you keep at a distance because he messed up too much. He never took anything seriously. Every time the Brain was close, here comes Pinky dumb ass messing ish up! He never listened, if you're a part of a team, you must work together, not do your own thing. You stay away from people that posses those qualities . It's going to be friends and family that you love to pieces and think that because you knew them for years and years that they have to be there on your "come up", and that is not the case. Those people are blocking your blessings and will enable you from doing you. That's why you have to watch the company you keep and not all people are good people. You never truly know a person until you lived with them, have a baby by them or some ish goes down and their behinds is no where to be found. You want to have people in your corner with the same ambitions. I once read this, if you want to be a CEO, you attach yourself to a person or people that is already living that dream because that is where you want to be. If all you do is hang around a friend that doesn't work and is lazy, then you will become that over time. Remain motivated and with people that push you to do your best! 

Fat Girl Slim

I've been a big girl for more than HALF my life. I would say about 16 years. Being fat and in school was the worst experience of my life, especially during my junior high school years. My peers used to tease me everyday, talk about how my legs where shaped funny (i'm knocked kneed), every time I would eat, it was a joke coming from somebodies mouth, I just felt like the target in my classroom everyday and I hated going to school. I remember telling my mother "I'm fat and ugly" and her saying "No you're not, who told you that? you're beautiful" and I just didn't believe her. Yea I would laugh and I would even joke on myself but deep down inside I was hurting and very embarrassed  just thinking about it has me tearing up, it stuck with me for years. It held me back from a lot of things, I settled for the jerks because I thought they were the only ones that wanted me, I used to feel like I wasn't worthy of true love, always thinking if someone is judging me, walk into a room with people laughing and thinking "are they laughing at me?". This is where my anti-social, afraid to be who I am, very insecure and lack of self love developed. I must admit I grew up with these things programmed in my head and I didn't start loving me for me and knowing my worth until I turned 25. 

My high school days wasn't as bad. I became what I call "The Fat Funny Friend", hey I had to find my niche so it was be funny or bully ppl so they wouldn't fuck with you cause they're scared you might sit on them. And since I wasn't about that life, I chose the funny shit. Fast forward 5 years, age 18. I was losing weight that summer, working, nobody could tell me my shit stink lol. Met my daughter's father and let's just say, I blew UP and not in a good way. Before I got pregnant I was eating always eating. He was skinny so he never gained the weight, but I did! At one point of time we lived together and everyday he brought home Popeyes, chinese, heroes, whatever I wanted I got. I also got something else I didn't want, an EXTRA 50 plus pounds!! Chile I blew up like the marshmallow man. ( I think that mofo got me fatter on purpose). Then I found out he was cheating on me and I am an emotional eater, I kept eating to drown my sorrows. October 2007, found out I was pregnant and I was so scared because how could I love somebody else when I didn't even love myself. I lost myself during my whole pregnancy, I was a total different person, I didn't go out, stayed in bed all day, didn't do my hair, separated from my friends, they would call weeks on end and I wouldn't answer. He kept cheating and I kept eating digging myself in a deep depression, in a maze and I had no clue how to get out. June 6th 2008, the best day of my life, giving birth to my Kimorah!!!! :) once she got here it was all about her. 

In July 2011, I met one of my really good friends John, I think he was sent in my life for a reason. We grew closer over the next 2 years. I found out he was into fitness, body banging all that so I kind of joked around at 1st just because it was an interest of his and I just wanted an excuse to see him lol. He worked out with me, he took time to tell me what exercises to do for what area I was having the most trouble with, he looked up a diet plan for me and everything. He was the one who said go get that gym membership to Lucille Roberts what do you have to lose?. Yea he's saying all this and I just wasn't focused at that moment. I think I wasn't fully ready for the change and for the hard work. I was only doing it for attention BUT as I started the gym, I grew to love it and the motive to impress him turned to impressing ME! I loved what I was seeing in the mirror, exercising felt like great sex and a major stress release. I started noticing my double chin going up, my thighs going down, stomach going in, and my back rolls going from 6 to 4 lol. I really thank John because when I had doubts, he talked to me and was there through the whole process. He even went food shopping with me that is a true friend and supporter and I will always cherish him for that. I don't think he knows how much of an impact he had on my life. That's all it takes, one person to have your back when you're afraid to fall to say I got you, don't worry.  

I became obsessed with clean eating, don't ask me how I found out about it but I started my research and I just had to do it. I don't know how I came across Sexy Shred on twitter, and I take that as a sign! Plus it was based on clean eating, the same thing I was so curious to try, yea it was meant for me to end up doing this challenge. I sent an e-mail thinking, "I won't get sponsored" and guess what, I got it. Sexy Shred is a lifestyle change consisting of multiple challenges, support group of 500 plus people, and clean eating. Who know I, Shaniqua L Hargett, would love to cook every damn day lol. 

Moral of my blog is that I been struggling with my weight, so every pound I lose, I celebrate them! I'm loving me more each day and I love looking in the mirror, I love feeling good and light, I lost almost 50lbs and counting. Me being able to jog 4 laps straight without stopping was something I never thought I would be able to do. Also, I wanted to tell my story for those going through the weight struggle just keep going, don't let people discourage you and tell you that you can't do it. I had a few people say you sure you want to clean eat, you going to cook? You go all the way downtown Brooklyn to Trader Joe's to shop with all those bags? YUP YUP YUP I sure do and if i'm not complaining why should you? You just have to do what makes you happy. If you can't make the gym, workout at home, it's getting nice outside, go for a jog around the block. Love yourself, be yourself, believe in yourself cause I do and you can do IT! DON'T PLAY THE VICTIM, BE THE VICTOR! NO MORE EXCUSES!!